Why Would a Good God Allow Suffering?

Why? What would be the purpose? How could a supposedly good God sit back and do nothing while innocent children are being abused and killed? Why is one person healed from a disease and another is not? Why does it look like he turns a blind eye to the people who have evil intent, but yet are successful in their careers? What about those who are doing good, but find themselves just barely getting by? If there is even truly a God, why in the world does so much cruelty, hatred and destruction exist?

Do good and suffering live together? Wouldn't that be a juxtaposition?

I can vividly remember my husband asking many of these questions. Watching him writhe in pain and hearing his tormented thoughts about his dismal future was almost unbearable. He was a good man with a good heart. His fearless mindset helped him overcome numerous challenges, both personally and professionally. I absolutely loved watching him interact with our two children and encourage them to achieve great things with every fiber in his being. He was steadfast in all that he took on. He had persistently built a successful business from the ground up, he was in the best physical shape of his life, his children were thriving in their environments. But five defining words turned his entire world upside down and became instrumental in his questioning and suffering.

"You have Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis."

ALS, also known as, Lou Gehrig's disease is a terminal disease that affects the motor neurons that control the voluntary muscles in the body. Over time your muscles atrophy, which ultimately takes a person's life, usually due to respiratory failure. And his physical life ended just five years later after that life-altering announcement. We had journeyed together for twenty-seven years.

Sometime after his diagnosis, I became his full-time caregiver, nurse, physical and respiratory therapist (he was on a ventilator), secretary to his business he was still running, and many more roles. This meant stepping down from a teaching position I had helped to create and was extremely passionate about. But I was passionate about my husband and family even more. The purpose for setting the stage as a full-time caregiver is to help convey the scene. For several years I was by his side 24/7 so I saw and heard all from him. His initial warrior response spun into questions, anger, bitterness and frustration.

The diagnosis wasn't fair. He was a healthy, vibrant young man. So why?

ALS wasn't in his genes. So why?

He was a good man, doing good deeds. So why?

Other diseases have cures, but not ALS. So why?

"Is God punishing me?" "Does he just pick and choose who he wants to rescue?" "What did I do to deserve this?" These were just a few that would plague his heart and keep him up at night, along with the indescribable sadness from thinking about not being a part of mine and the kids' future. My fumbling attempts to soothe him came across like rubbing salt in an open wound, many times. How do you convince someone that God loves them like crazy and is and has always been a good, gracious God? It almost sounds ludicrous rolling off your tongue in a situation like that.

He fueled his anger towards God. "I'm in control of my fate." "This whole fairy-tale about a God is just something some people want to believe in." Once again, I'm trying to set the stage to hopefully reveal a bit of the mindset from someone who is suffering. I have the upmost respect for my late husband and could understand why he had the questions he did.

So circling back, why would a good God allow suffering?

I certainly don't have all the answers. But I will try and share a few insights from that very difficult, very personal experience.

One thing I believe we can all agree on is that we're all going to die one day. It's just a matter of how and when. People are healed and rescued each and every day, but eventually we will all meet that day when we're no longer here. I'm no different in wishing we could all just pass peacefully in our sleep and wake up in a world filled with people who are tripping over themselves to simply just love and care for one another. I believe the latter part will come to pass, but the whole dying part to get there will always be uncertain.

If God is who he claims to be - an all-powerful and all-knowing God - then why doesn't he stop all suffering before it starts? If he is telling the truth that he loves us unconditionally equal and accepts us just as we are, why doesn't he intervene before we're hurt? And I believe we first need to seek whether or not he is telling the truth, if he is a big fat liar, or if he even exists.

My personal relationship with him helps me to experience his realness. In fact, I've come to believe he's more real than any of the illusions we so often buy into in this world. And because we have fostered our relationship together, I don't believe for one second that this loving Father enjoys his children suffering for any length of time. Falling for the lie that he does or doesn't mind, only causes us to swell up with doubt, fear and anger towards him. God hates evil just as a Father would hate a lion threatening the safety and life of his child.

Once again, why does he allow it?

C. S. Lewis, in Mere Christianity, describes this allowance:

"Free will, though it makes evil possible, is also the only thing that makes possible any love or goodness or joy worth having. A world of automata - of creatures that worked like machines - would hardly be worth creating. The happiness which God designs for his higher creatures is the happiness of being freely, voluntarily united to Him, and to each other, in an ecstasy of love and delight compared with which the most rapturous love between a man and a woman on this earth is mere milk and water. And for that, they must be free."

But this freedom allows and invites evil to infiltrate our world. We are free to think and believe what we want. And that will always mean, being allowed to believe what is not true. When we believe lies about who God is, who we are, who others are, and our circumstances, our actions follow those unhealthy thoughts. Imagine over the course of history how all of those thoughts have spun into unhealthy actions since the beginning of time. We have created a snowball effect of...

Hatred of ourselves and each other.

Cruelty towards ourselves and others.

Destruction of ourselves and each other.

We would love to say we're outside that massive snowball and point the finger in blame to the "others" creating it. But the truth is, we are all in that snowball to some degree.

God never intended for our relationship with him to be a rule-based experience. Rules can be measured and people can be by using them. Mankind has built a rule-based world in efforts to protect. But it's flawed and will always be. We can try and make people conform to what we accept and expect, but we cannot and never will be able to transform someone's mindset, aka, the heart. That change is a personal choice left for each person to decide. The allowance to give each person that choice demands more patience, love, compassion, and self-control than we could ever accomplish on our own. But God is able to give us this gift of freedom. He desires a "want to" commitment to him vs. a "have to." If we're being honest, don't we want that type of relationship with the people in our lives too?

Here's a snippet of what I've learned about God during our relationship. His endless grace and mercy are for every single one of his creations. Even for those people doing those evil things? Yes. We are ALL his children. And this would be extremely hard to swallow if we just left it there, especially if you've witnessed unfathomable abuse or you've personally experienced it. So let's go a little further. If God is omniscient - all knowing - then he knows EXACTLY why those people doing evil things are doing them. He knows they are operating from hurt, anger, pride, or a serious disturbance we can't even comprehend. But yet, he still loves. Love is who he is. And in his love, he exhibits more patience, compassion and self-control than we would ever be capable of or even be able to grasp.

I believe God loves and accepts each one of us without measure.

I believe he is a good God, despite how people and circumstances appear.

I believe he desires a relationship with us so we can get to know him up close and personal.

I believe he wants us to trust him, even when we don't understand the juxtaposition of it all.

And I believe when we're willing to entertain all the above, he reveals his wisdom to our questions. I have come to understand his timing with this more as I grow with him. I'm not going to reveal all that I'm thinking to a person who is not really seeking to understand me. I think God's revelations of his truths and the timing of it all are similar.

I imagine a conversation with him...

Me: God, I want the hatred, the cruelty and destruction to stop.

God: Ok, just have everyone act perfectly.

Me: But I can't control everyone.

God: Exactly. And why I sent my Son.

I whole-heartedly believe with my very last breath that God sent Jesus to give us his life. God knew from the beginning we would not be able to go through this life without believing and acting on what isn't true, which results in a suffering world. He has given us ALL of him - ALL of his fruit; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Because we have the life of Jesus, we have full capacity to perfectly love with pure motives. But I would compare our unwillingness to tap into this full capacity to the use of our cell phones. I might use 30% of what my cell phone is capable of doing. I don't believe I'm going out on a limb when I assume there isn't anyone who uses 100% of their cell phone's potential all day, every day.

But here's the good news. God knows and understands our reasons of why we do what we do. So he knows why we don't tap into all of what we possess, but our thinking or behavior does not change his love for us. And I for one am beyond grateful for a love like that. It's beyond comprehension, actually. This kind of love is unheard of in our world so it's no wonder we question it. And I'm relieved he understands that as well.

By the way, as my husband was taking his last breaths, his eyes moved upwards and he began to speak as if he were having a conversation with someone - someone we couldn't see. One word he continued to repeat; Rejoice.

Whether you found this blog infuriating, hopeful or enlightening, my hope is you go on your own personal pursuit as to what you believe to be true. This, is the freedom God presents to all of us. It is a personal invitation because it is your very own personal journey.

Much love,

Keri